Simple Ways to Prioritise Yourself (Without Feeling Guilty)

It sounds so simple. Take time for yourself. Put your needs first. Prioritise your wellbeing. But for many women, especially in midlife, it’s anything but simple.

You know you should rest, move more, eat better, say no. But instead you keep pushing through, doing more, saying yes, putting yourself at the bottom of the list.

Why? Because guilt creeps in. Because you’ve been conditioned to believe that self care is selfish, that rest is indulgent, that everyone else’s needs matter more than your own.

But here’s the truth, prioritising yourself isn’t selfish, it’s essential. You can’t give yourself to others without filling your own cup first. When you stop feeling guilty for looking after your own needs, everything else will begin to feel more manageable.

Why Women Struggle With Putting Themselves First

Many women have spent years caring for others. Children, partners, parents, colleagues. And somewhere along the way, the message became clear. You’re valuable because of what you do for others.

So when you pause, rest or set a boundary, it can feel uncomfortable. The guilt isn’t a sign you’re doing something wrong. It’s a sign you’re doing something different.

That discomfort is part of unlearning. It’s what growth feels like. And it gets easier the more you practise.

What Self Care Really Means

Self care isn’t always about bubble baths or spa days. It’s about tuning in and meeting your needs before they become urgent.

It may be going to bed half an hour earlier. Saying no to an event you don’t want to attend. Asking for help. Making a nourishing meal. Taking five minutes to breathe.

It’s about reminding yourself that your wellbeing matters too. That your energy is not limitless. That burnout doesn’t make you a better person.

Simple Ways to Start Prioritising Yourself

If you’re not used to putting yourself first, start small. You don’t need a complete life overhaul. You just need a few consistent shifts that remind your brain and body that you matter too.

Here are some gentle ideas to help you get started:

1. Schedule your time first

Before you book-in appointments or meetings, look at your calendar and block out time for yourself. Even 15 minutes a day to walk, stretch or drink your coffee slowly makes a difference.

2. Say no without over-explaining

No is a complete sentence. You don’t need to justify why you can’t do something. Trust that your reasons are valid.

3. Start your day with one thing that’s for you

Before the demands of the day take over, do something small that centres you. A short stretch, a journal entry, opening the window and taking five deep breaths.

4. Listen to your body

Fatigue, headaches, cravings and irritability are often signs you need rest, nourishment or boundaries. Don’t wait until your body shouts. Respond when it whispers.

5. Make joy part of your routine

Ask yourself: What brings me joy that I haven’t done in a while? This could be reading, dancing, singing, cooking or simply going for a long walk. Prioritising yourself isn’t just about recovery, it’s also about connection, pleasure and play.

Letting Go of the Guilt

Guilt is often a sign that you're breaking an old rule. One that says you must always be giving, doing, pleasing. But ask yourself, whose rule is that? And does it still serve you?

You can feel guilty and still take care of yourself. You can feel uncomfortable and still say no. You can hold space for others and still honour your own needs.

The more you practise, the easier it becomes, you will feel less guilty and your confidence will grow. Ultimately, your wellbeing will thank you.

Why This Matters in Midlife

Midlife is often a time when everything shifts. Hormones, roles, relationships. You may feel pulled in all directions or like you’ve lost sight of who you are outside of everything you do for others.

This is the perfect time to reconnect and to re-evaluate. To ask yourself what you need, not just what everyone else needs from you.

Coaching Can Help You Reclaim That Space

If you find it hard to prioritise yourself without guilt, coaching can help. Together we look at what’s getting in the way and create gentle, achievable steps toward balance and clarity.

I work with women who are navigating the overwhelm of midlife and menopause. Whether it’s about sleep, weight, energy, boundaries or identity, the support is always personalised and rooted in self compassion.

Still struggling to prioritise self care? You don’t have to figure it all out alone, and you don’t need to justify why your needs matter.

If you're ready to start prioritising yourself, I'd love to help you get there.